Oh hey guys. Funny that we both came out of our apartments at the same time. Small world, huh?
Hey, now that I have you here, I actually wanted to invite you to this barbeque thing that I’m doing in my kitchen later this evening. I ordered like a ton of boneless wings from Wing Street, and I only have one mouth to eat them with, so help me out! My cat normally only eats one because those wings are pretty good size for a cat’s mouth, y’know? So that means I’m going to have at least…how many are in a box? I ordered 4 boxes. That’s probably like 40 wings. Minus the one for David. David’s my cat. But it’s going to be at like 8ish or 9ish or whenever, so you should stop by!
What?
Oh.
Oh, sure. No problem, yeah.
It’s fine if you can’t make it, that won’t offend me. Do I look offended? Sorry, that’s not what I was going for. I think movie’s are great, I think that’s a perfectly viable use of your time instead of eating free wings, sure. I would argue that movies happen literally every other time of life, whereas this wing opportunity is more of a “moment in the wind” kind of deal, but sure, no, it’s important to see the new Ice Age before the Internet spoils it. The squirrel thing really wants the nut. I hope I didn’t ruin anything.
Really, it’s fine. I invited a whole slew of people from all around to this fiesta, so I probably won’t even notice that you’re not there. That’s kind of crazy to think that I think about you. It’s a little self-centered, don’t you think? I don’t walk around assuming people are thinking of me, unless I have to sneeze when I walk by someone, because then I have tangible proof. Point is, I won’t even notice. It just sucks for Soo-kyung and Theresa that you won’t be there, because I know they’ve been curious about who lives in all of these flats. Soo-kyung? The mailwoman? You probably never see her because you’re at work during the day. She’s really nice, and Korean. She’s both. It’s not mutually exclusive. I’m surprised you don’t know Theresa, though. She lives a couple of blocks away, doesn’t get out much, but she says she knows lots of people, so I just assumed. Guess I made an ass out of myself by assuming or whatever. That’s a two wing penalty, me! Haha! Not really, I probably won’t enforce that.
But yeah, I thought for sure you two would maybe want to hook up with some of these ladies, but you’ll be busy laughing at the voice of Everybody Loves Raymond, so we all make our own choices. Did I mention there would be Mr. Pibb? I bought three two-liters just awhile ago, actually. That’s why I was on my way out, to pick up another few two-liters of Pibb in case people were extra thirsty. I guess I can just go back into my apartment, though, since it looks like I won’t be needing a surplus! Just kidding, I’m not upset.
What time’s the movie? Oh, you’ve got time then. I actually already have the wings inside my apartment if you just wanted to stop in for a few, grab a little wing bite and then scoot. They’re still hot, I just went and grabbed them while I was out getting the first wave of Mr. Pibb. What? Sure, no, that’s totally cool. You have to save room for popcorn. I totally get that, I go to movies all the time. Okay. Well…if you have the late night craves when you get back tonight, all I’m saying is don’t hesitate to knock on my door and talk to me and I’ll feed you while we talk. I mean…I won’t FEED you, because you all are men and not babies. I get it. Haha, wouldn’t that be something? Soo-kyung would pee all over herself if she saw that. But seriously, knock if you want some wings. Or if the music is too loud, which I guarantee it will be because of how hard the party will be bumping, come down and knock on my door and tell me and I’ll turn it down and we can talk. Okay?
Okay, well I guess I’ll just go back in my apartment now, since I don’t need those extra two-liters. Don’t forget to get your 3D glasses, it totally changes the experience! It’s like the movie characters are in the theatre next to you, I swear to God. You sure about the–? Yes? Okay. Alright. Have fun!
