Writing

Look at all this crap!  I write all types of words.  Long words, short words, words connected to other words.  Below is an archive of my favorite words thus far.  I promise that they’re all real, and none of them are pranks.  If you click on a link and it doesn’t work, that’s not a prank.  That’s a technical error.  I can only promise you so many times that I’m not pranking you.  Will you please just believe me?  I want us to be friends!  I’ll call you later, we’ll talk about.

STORIES

That’s My Daughter, The Sickly Duckling
(Originally appeared on McSweeney’s 5/5/11)

You Got Me Again With This Fake Unicorn!
(originally appeared on McSweeney’s 4/26/10)

Lord, Denise, These Almonds
(Originally appeared on McSweeney’s 1/28/10)

A Letter From My Doctor

Lady Clown

The Really, Really Great Writer’s Lament

By My Touch, This Car Is Fixed

Carol Higgins Plus One

Found on the Leg of a Mountain Hawk

From The Desk of Tod Lancorn

Hat Bath

Hey, I’m Your Downstairs Neighbor

A Hiolaurios Sceine

The Ladies Boy

Lost Dog

Maybe Tomorrow Pink

The Ultimate Riddle