Look at all this crap! I write all types of words. Long words, short words, words connected to other words. Below is an archive of my favorite words thus far. I promise that they’re all real, and none of them are pranks. If you click on a link and it doesn’t work, that’s not a prank. That’s a technical error. I can only promise you so many times that I’m not pranking you. Will you please just believe me? I want us to be friends! I’ll call you later, we’ll talk about.
STORIES
That’s My Daughter, The Sickly Duckling
(Originally appeared on McSweeney’s 5/5/11)
You Got Me Again With This Fake Unicorn!
(originally appeared on McSweeney’s 4/26/10)
Lord, Denise, These Almonds
(Originally appeared on McSweeney’s 1/28/10)
The Really, Really Great Writer’s Lament
By My Touch, This Car Is Fixed
Found on the Leg of a Mountain Hawk